Amanda O'Reilly

What is love?

We’ve been fooled into thinking that love is this thing that just shows up one day.

But love is not an emotion.

Love is a choice.

It’s a decision that you make to show up with a certain set of standards for yourself, and the world.

Love is the highest vibration on the planet. It transforms. It heals. It’s everywhere!!!

Love doesn’t make us do crazy things, unprocessed trauma and a dysregulated nervous system does.

If you grew up in a house where there was enmeshment, and abuse, you most likely don’t know what true love feels like. Maybe you witnessed fireworks of emotions, punishment, silence for days, and then everything is suddenly “ok” again.

This is often why ppl who have been hurt emotionally will shut down, they will retreat, will run, and punish bc that’s all they know how to do to protect themselves because “love” doesn’t feel safe.

This is not love.

Love doesn’t hurt you. A person who doesn’t know how to love hurts you, they’re activating your inner child wounds, + are acting from theirs. This is why healing is such an important part of having healthy relationships.

If you’re an adult, you have trauma, trauma that you might not even be aware of. When the trauma remains unresolved, there will likely be frequent triggers that cause an emotional response. Let’s say you had parents who were emotionally distant or absent when you were a child, and you felt abandoned, when your partner comes home late, missed dinner you may feel rejected or not good enough. You see life through your scars, you experience disrespect where none is intended. You make up stories because it FEELS the same.

Things get said like- like you’re crazy, it’s all in your head – The truth is that trauma is not “in your head”. It leaves a real, physical imprint on your body, jarring your memory + it changes your brain.

Most believe love is an emotion, but emotions are fleeting; they come + go. Love doesn’t go, it’s transformative powers makes us feel stronger and more powerful.

Love is a way of BEing. Yes, the object of our love may change; but true love is constant, it remains, and the way we love another is a projection of the way we love ourselves.

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