Amanda O'Reilly

Choosing vs being Chosen

I just got off a coaching call and we talked today about choosing vs being chosen. Whoa, that’s a tough one for a lot of people.

Ever notice this pattern that rears its ugly head when it comes up? The one where our worth relies on someone choosing us? Whether it’s – friend, a job, a parent, or a partner… The mindset is “will I be good enough?”

When we look at things through this lens it’s no wonder why we suffer. Because our worth then is reliant on someone else’s capability of choosing us ( that never ends well) and if we haven’t healed that part of us that feels unworthy of being chosen, we continue to attract people that cannot choose us (this is huge!!!!) This vicus circle just goes round and round in a crazy eight pattern. It’s only when you step outside the pattern and realize your self-worth must come from YOU ****AND*** you’re capable of choice.

You are the one choosing if a friendship serves you. If a partner is capable of meeting your needs. If a parent needs boundaries. If a job is the best fit. If a person your dating makes sense right now in your life. How about instead of “am I good enough?”, “Are they, is it? good enough for me?” _

This is a small mindset shift with huge benefits. Because when we start to fill our self-worth bucket from the inside we don’t rely on filling it with others. And when we release that, we can start choosing who we want in our lives, that my friends = freedom!

So the next time you notice that you are hoping to be chosen, ( flashback to grade school waiting to be picked for dodgeball ) take a step back and take a deep breath. Now see the person in front of you for who they are, and what they can give. Remind yourself that this is who they are and not a reflection of you.

My hope is that reading this post encourages and inspires YOU to walk proudly in the direction you’re being pulled towards. You need to do it for yourself, you need to start choosing you first. Do it because you matter and you’re worthy, and then do it for the people who you could potentially be impacting as a result of your choices. Then watch how quickly you attract people who choose you back.