The emotional pressure on maintaining a false exterior is an incredible burden to carry and a heavy load. You will always be hiding and repairing the cracks in the facade. How about instead of constant maintenance on the projection, you tune the projector to run on truth, an effortless energy resource?
First step is to stop projecting perfection. Perfection is bullshit. My mentor @tonyrobbins taught me that People will always try to be perfect and that’s why they don’t start anything. Perfection is the lowest standard in the world. Because if you’re trying to be perfect, you know you can’t be. So what you really have is a standard you can never achieve. #fail What you want to be outstanding, not perfect. Perfection is made up. Oh, MAN, this record had been playing on repeat since the “Killing me softly” was on top on the charts, until it wasn’t. How about perfectly imperfect for all my fellow recovering perfectionists out there? I got the t-shirt! ?
Show your flaws, fallibility is the most human of attributes because it creates connection. It helps people feel a little less alone.
You also gotta go into the shadow and do the internal work. It sucks out loud and is hard AF but … it’s required. If you project kindness but are really judgmental, do the work to grow your compassion. If you project a carefree, go with the flow attitude but are really anxious, do the work to quiet the mind and make friends with uncertainty. If you project being cool in your relationships, slay the dragon of jealousy.
You can’t control where on your focused target your arrow hits, you are however responsible for your shot. A bullseye isn’t success. Success is putting yourself in a position where bullseyes are the most likely outcome. Own the process, and let the results take care of themselves. –
But above all, remember that no game is enjoyable without resistance. Whatever you are going through presently, is precisely the quest that will allow you to level up. There is but one destination, and it is only a short stroll until we ALL get there. So the question becomes how we lived during our short time?